when saftey becomes your cage

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When you are asserting your independence to create a better life for yourself, when trying new things is the only way to move up, and out of bad situations, when there is nothing left todo but to survive and become your best self, it’s easy to take risks, to throw yourself into the unknown. Because often, you feel so helpless, so alone that you think nothing could be worse. You throw yourself so whole heartedly into the trying, because to fail would be to lose your life. And while this may seem dramatic, in that moment, it’s how you feel.

But once you get there. Once you have a warm home, once you know you really can take care of yourself. Once there is someone to come home to, someone who holds your hand on bad days. Once you feel safe, you sink so deep into the warmth that you never want to let go.

And then you begin to settle. To shy away from risks. Why would you want to jeopardize this happiness, this life you’ve built for yourself? You make excuses, you begin to fear everything besides the cozy little world you’ve created. You pat yourself on the back, telling yourself that you have arrived. You are successful. Look at all you’ve done. And you begin to hang your hat on the triumphs you fought so hard for.

And while they are worth celebrating, they were done in the past, and will be perfectly worthless unless built upon.

The hardest time to try, to put yourself out there, to take risks and throw all you have into something new, is when you are safe and happy. Somehow safety becomes your cage. You cling tightly to the covers, staying only in the sunlight, going only where you know kindness.

This is when you must do battle with yourself, pull away… you should know better than anyone that all this could crumble at any time. So how terribly foolish to hold only to what you know instead of climbing upward, ever changing, adapting and growing.

So here we go. Here I go.

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